I gave some thought to WHY I would like to do this film that I'm working on. And I think these “whys” could also be incorporated into the character, decisions etc. I started by writing down every reason and influence I have had up until now that made me want to act and create films. I’ll spare you the play by play thought process and give you the overview and bullet points.
1.) Almost everyone (especially me!) wants to feel accepted, cool, in control and powerful. This is reflected in my childhood love for movies like Indiana Jones, Pulp Fiction, Scarface etc…
2.) Our childhood is not and was not our identity - Although at the time it felt that way. As we grow up we see that the decisions that we make effect others and our future. Some of us realize this sooner than others. Some people never realize this and stay stuck in their childish/childlike reality - wearing the same style of clothes, making the same mistakes and never existing fully in present time reality. I never wanted to live like that and have investigated at great lengths ways to continually evolve and become more of myself, in present time and connected to ever changing reality.
3.) In life one encounters crossroads and at these points one has the option to act out of patterned fear and continue on maintaining the status quo OR to seize opportunities and make BIG MOVES in the game of life. Based on 1 & 2 above I have made big moves and the decision to do so has changed me for the better. My examples of this would be working in a salmon cannery on Alaska, quitting my job and moving to New York, volunteering in South Africa etc. etc.
4.) Although I want to make films and probably more dramatic ones at that it could be seen as a distraction that I choose to study so much comedy. I believe I chose and continue to choose comedy for spiritual reasons. Comedy seems to have the ultimate power. I once read that to figure out the meaning of life one must first be able to laugh at death. Somehow that continues to resinate with me and I feel that even the most dramatic of films or works of art always hit harder when there is some element of comedy.