OK so I'm going to crush 30 minutes by writing in my blog. My goal is to put this stuff (my thoughts) down stream of consciousness with little to no editing.  Well you'll never know as I'll be the one who decides when I hit the publish button (some editing included). There are a few things playing on my conscious mind at the moment.  The one that stands out is balance. Balance of all the factors in life. By balance I really mean that there are all these competing forces and I'm attempting to keep each of them from crashing down on me and destroying the little bit of pleasure I get from having freedom to think. All the stuff that I'm responsible for has the propensity for making me happy or miserable. With the right amount of guidance, effort and ability to let go of control I can stay ahead of the game.

So I've got all of these elements in my life I have to keep happy - spinning plates. I'm pretty sure everyone has to deal with this shit. I have a job, wife, family and friends. If you don't have these elements in your life I'm sure you are filling you time with equally demanding things. Christ, I play this game on my phone called Clash of Clans and even the 12 year olds on there get pissed off at me. Which is fine! I'm totally cool with it. They have their priorities and things like creating unified attacks toward rival clans are very real and important to them.

Over the years I've gotten my act together and now I'm trying to keep it that way. It's like being perpetually in high school. There are rules and laws and freedoms and restrictions. Adult life is pretty awesome actually. Best part is I still feel like a kid searching for relevance in a word that seems to be speeding of at an incomprehensible pace. I hope capturing some of my thoughts here results in a tiny act of rebellion. I desire the ability to renounce compliance while at the same time investigating new realms of existence scientifically.

Have friends still laying their souls out there on stage; musicians, stand up comics, real artists. I can't begin to express my respect for them. My path has lead me to my computer keyboard, hammering away on a Sunday night. Chewing trident white gum with Darth Vader's picture on it because I was thinking of brushing my teeth before sitting down to write. The gum saved not only my teeth and my breath but the time spent on one more distraction. What I'm saying is, there are always excuses and distractions preventing us from getting our art out.  Some come from within others from without. Doesn't matter, some people find the time and energy to get it out there. God help me I'll be damned if I don't continue to attempt to share and shake things up.

Fact is this stuff will go out and it will exist.  Not sure if it will have any effect other than being something that people will scroll over and say, "well he sure did write a lot." It will have an impact and some validity in that respect. But what am I truly trying to say? I guess I believe I can make myself and others happy. I believe in the importance of self expression. I believe in the now forming mythology of the communication revolution taking shape on the internet. I believe that someone somewhere will read this and have a moment of human connection. To me that's pretty damn close to absolute power. I wasn't able to get on stage tonight. I wasn't able to sing a song to you. Still you arrived her in this theater and this was my song.