When I look around I'm surprised to see all the things I have created. Literally everything in my environment I have put there. Even New York City I put there in a sense. Yes I put NYC right in front of me by moving here in 2002. I made the conscious choice to be in this environment. It's so interesting how we can come to resent the people, places and things we have created. Things we decided we wanted. It's amazing to hear people who chose to move to New York complain about New York. It's just as easy to move somewhere else and have a totally different environment and circumstances to deal with. You don't like the people, traffic and garbage - leave you powerful creative beings...

I suppose we become tired with certain situations and desire change. When the change doesn't come we feel stuck. Next the stuckness leads to resentment. Still I think to often we throw in the towel and submit to apathy about the whole thing. Why not work and fight to transcend the circumstances we face if even only in a small way. It could start with a deep breath or a moment of reflection and grow into some small action and then full fledged passion for transformation.

Now I'm fanning those embers to turn them into flames. I want the next level (and maybe I'm there now, but I want to secure my position). It's understandable, I may be late to the party and if so then I'd like to arrive fashionably late. Writing as a will to power? I don't think so. Rather this work is supposed to free me up to get to the root of myself and my truth. Why did I come here and work so hard for so long? Why did I give myself all of these tools? Lastly if I can't figure out why, then I'd like to at least make the most of what I have got left.

Here I am in NYC, owner of a business, with a unique viewpoint. There's got to be some value in sharing how this happened - even if only to understand more about the whole thing myself. Thankfully between birth and death we have a few brief moments to reflect on how much mystery and grace we participate in every day. By probing into my experience I hope to produce something authentic and genuine.