I have to publish this today as it has been on my to do list since last week. My goal is to produce maybe one funny insight or unique thought. Maybe I can just show up to freestyle and brainstorm in this space and then choose to publish it anyway.
Here’s what’s happening right now. I’m typing away at my computer while listening to a “chill hip hop skateboard mix” in a Starbucks on the corner of 55th and Lexington in NYC. Twenty years ago I might have thought this sounds pretty cool. I can say it’s better than sitting in an office but how would I know if that is true? I haven’t had and office job in fifteen years. I can tell you this: The people in Starbucks suck, including myself. This is as much a symptom of New York city as it is simple plain old general suckiness of humans commuting during rush hour in general. But here’s the problem, I know that I’m nothing more than a victim of my own shitty perspective. I sit down to write hoping to change my perspective.
What if I told you a story about:
Drug use and living in and around poverty
The grizzly murder of a family pet
A trip to a cabin that ends in tragedy
A group of friends who go to Alaska for the summer
Words In 4 line stanzas:
So here’s the game: get that money and a taste of fame.
Answer the question why and try to understand while I write out my blame
You got a level of need for acknowledgement and recognition.
Play your position, went to college for systems engineering
The years have taught me more than the weekends
And now I know there are no secrets
Just another grown up sitting in a Starbucks pretending I’m the meanest
Intermittent fasting so I can show of who’s the cleanest.
So now who’s the realest? Give two fucks and no shit.
With power comes great responsibility be careful what you do with it.
Happy and content. Sixteen bars for your ass and tits.
Thrown out on the streets like a tired piece of shit
Smelling so fresh when I bounce back in the booth
Dead already. Something big. Biting through with my tooth.
Love and sex two vastly different things with small overlap.
The cosmic serpent. The spiraling energy. We all must let go.
I got 99 problems but they’re not the real problem.
A few generations later we’ll all be forgotten.
I fight and push sometimes just let go.
Here is my facility in NYC. Big pillars.
Enter my dojo of doom and death.
Tattoos and small business loans.
So sorry I just don’t care right now. I’m going into my mind.
My mind that rides on these animals.
Totem. Publishing. Fearful. Composed and upright. My song my poetry.
There is this tendency to shut down and turn off.
I still feel the power to get excited and follow through.
So happy. I was born that way. Optimistic.
Where does the shutdown come from? My ego my insecurity.
Music to skateboard to. Beats, rhymes etcetera. Selfishness.
Just ask me. Maybe this is how I can heal myself today?
The master says he was working on me. I’m now working on you.
Dear family you are so dedicated. My son interested in becoming.
Please let me help you. Planes of motion. Rotations and forces.
I will mix the medicine of my ancestors and contemporaries.
So many elements transforming and dissipating.